From Background Notes [BN]
for May 12th & 13th written by Pastor Bob Brown:
1. Submission is a two-way
street because it is based on reverence for Christ. That is, we must not
demand from each other what belongs properly only to God. Reverence of this
sort is due to God alone. The Greek word used by Paul...
... is the stronger term phobos
which has the nuance of "fear, respect." In the presence of the
awesome King of kings and Lord of lords, partners in a marriage make no
pretensions to being "lord" over each other. Thus, we can speak of
"mutual submission" in which husbands and wives find a proper equality
in service, care and respect. Imagine how the story of Genesis 3 might have
turned out had this principle been followed! Men and women live in a committed,
mutually submitted, and Christ-centered relationship when they enter marriage.
Submission is mutual and it is voluntary. That is not always true with sexual
relationships outside of marriage where the "hunt" drives the
process, and the hunter and the hunted live in a constant state of unsettledness
about each other. Sex ever functions as the "hook" holding together
two people who have not entered into a covenant with each other. As such, sex
in a non-marital setting always leaves persons on their guard, wondering,
questioning, doubting, and certainly not safely trusting each other.
2. Headship, when applied to
marriage, is not about authority but about the source of love. Studies
in ancient anatomy reveal that physicians living at Paul's time (including his
personal one, Luke) didn't locate thought in the brain, but in other organs
like the heart, liver and kidneys. However, they accorded to the
"head" the source of life and reproduction. Paul calls Christ
"the head" precisely because is the "Savior of the body." Along
with that imagery comes the reference to: 1) giving up oneself for the other;
2) sanctifying (making holy) the other; 3) washing the other; 4) presenting the
other without spot, wrinkle, or blemish in all splendor. As the
"head," husbands nourish, cherish and hold fast their wives, treating
them as they would treat themselves. This text offers a superior alternative,
one which respects persons, and thereby protects them in a loving, considerate
bond. For the man to be a woman's "head" means for him to be her
source. For the woman to "submit" to the man means for her to avail
herself of his supply and accept his love.
3. Marriage, as the union of
two-in-one, is a genuine mystery. Having a strong marriage involves respecting
and honoring the mystery. For Paul, the true "source" for marriage
lies within the Christ-church relationship. And in this connection exists the
deeper mystery. How are we to understand the mystery of marriage? 1) We don't
understanding everything about marriage when we begin that relationship; 2) As
the marriage unfolds, it reveals twists and turns which are unexpected and even
fearful; 3) God must reveal the meaning of their marriage mystery to the
partners; 4) Marriage is richer and deeper as time passes, and as the mystery
is revealed. That said, sometimes the puzzlement of marriage displaces its
mystery. So perplexing are the hard and difficult patches faced by the partners
that they imagine they have made a grave error in choosing each other. Suddenly
the puzzle is not the marriage but the other partner! "If I live a thousand
years, I will never figure you out!" exclaims the frustrated husband or
wife. And they might be right about that! Paul tells us that a "great
mystery" (to mustērion touto mega estin) lies hidden within God's
relationship to us through Christ, and our marriages also share in that
mystery. Just as a life-long commitment to Jesus Christ is required to plumb
the depths of that relationship, so also marriage takes a life-time to fully
appreciate its meaning and depth.
4. God stands as the true bulwark of
marriage, having blazed the trail for a fallen humanity whom he came to redeem.
Marriage is, then, not simply a human institution which rests on natural
foundations. As we have said frequently in our studies, marriage is God's idea,
not ours. By the same token, marriage finds its true meaning in another grand
idea of God: salvation. The Fall fractured marriage; the cross restores
marriage on new foundations. We are made one in Christ, both God and humanity
in the community; we are made one in Christ, both man and woman in marriage.
Paul implies that salvation is not only about the marriage partners, it
is also about the marriage person ― one flesh. In our weakness, we are
flesh; in God's salvation we are one flesh made new.
5. When such a relationship functions
properly, sex is not a weapon, hook, trap, manipulation, or lure. Rather, sex
becomes a symbolic expression of the unity which head and submission imply.
6. Sex treats the other's body as one's
own; sex sees one's own body as belonging to another. This way of seeing the
other is learned at the foot of the cross where God's Son gave himself for the
other and made of the other his own body ― the church, the people of God.
7. In this way, belonging to the body
of Christ becomes the environment in which marriage is learned anew, and where
sexuality becomes within marriage the sacrament for expressing God's love for
His people. Such love is redemptive, washing, cleansing, and restoring the
other. Such love does not use sexuality as a way of demanding marital rights
but a way of giving them away. [BN, 5]
Join us this week in Study, Worship, Praise and Celebration at Chicago First Church of the Nazarene –
* Saturday 6:00pm
* Sunday 8:30am & 11:00am, 5:30pm
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